love?

A teenage orphan girl recently asked me why my parents love me. My first thought was, “why would she ask that?” It seems like a question with an obvious answer but as I attempted to answer I honestly couldn’t think of a good reason. I think my response was simply because I was their kid and parents love their kids but for some reason that answer seemed inadequate for a girl who doesn’t have parents and is desperately wanting to be loved.

There are a lot of people in my life, including my parents, who really love me. The orphans I work with have picked up on this. They are incessantly complimenting my things and my usual responses are, “Oh, my mom made me this skirt- she’s pretty great.” Or “My friend made this friendship bracelet and gave it to me before I left for Africa so I wouldn’t forget him.” Or “My little sister gave me this for my birthday.” Their typical response: “They must really love you.” If love equals someone giving you stuff then yes, I am very loved.

Sophie wearing a heart necklace she bought herself

Most of the kids at the orphan center don’t have many good examples of love in their lives and you can tell they crave it. They don’t have the example of their parents’ love because their parents (at least one of them) have died. Most of them live with family (a grandma, an older sibling, an aunt or an uncle… someone who has taken them in by necessity) but they are not all treated with love and orphans in this culture are given very little and are always the last to receive anything. The kids in our program are cared for but that doesn’t mean they understand love. One of the best examples of love these kids have is the love their sponsors show them.

I’ve realized there is a simple element to love that many of the PHC orphans struggle to understand and I struggle to explain. There is something about it that doesn’t add up in our minds. Like, for instance, why my parents love me because even though they’re my parents they don’t have to love me. Or why God loves a whole bunch of dirty African orphans and widows (and commands us to do the same). Or how about why someone in America or Europe would choose to love a kid in Africa they’ve never met and show their love by sending money and letters and gifts. Why does anyone choose to love at all? I think the answer that I am struggling with is the fact that LOVE IS A CHOICE.

Merveille wants me to be her mother

My parents and friends don’t have to love me and there is no great reason for them to love me but they have chosen to and they show their love by giving me nice things and taking an interest in my life. There is no reason anyone has to support and show love to an orphan in Africa they’ve never met but there are hundreds of people who decide that they have been given so much and in return they will love someone who might not receive much love otherwise.

There is also no reason at all God should love any particular person or care about what they do but he does. He chooses to love us and he holds nothing back. He shows us his love in lots of ways but his biggest display of love was giving us his son. God didn’t have to send his only son to earth but he chose to because of his love for us. He set the example of what love is (John 3:16) and now we love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). The desire to love and be loved is part of who we are.

Love is a choice. Love is an action. Love gives without expecting anything in return and true love does not go unnoticed.

So, my family and friends and everyone who has shown me so much love, I just want to tell you THANKS! The example of love you have been in my life is having an impact on a lot of kids’ lives here in Africa. And for all you sponsors reading this, thanks for choosing to love the orphans of the Central African Republic. These kids love you back more than you could imagine!